Yep, that's right everyone. Leslie is officially back to school. Starting today.
I completed my first two online assignments for my Biology class today (extra credit, thank you)...and I feel like the world's biggest loser. I'm going to be 25 in about three weeks and I am looking at two jam packed years to finish my bachelor's degree. You know, that thing that all of my friends finished about three years ago.
I have gone through so many feelings over this topic, it's hard for me to even accurately describe them all. Mostly I just feel like I'm too damn old to be doing this (I know what all of you are going to say...that I'm not that old.) But it's hard to be 25 (almost) and going back to the beginning. I told you that my math classes expired (If you don't remember this, read the very beginning of this blog). It's kinda pathetic to be going into a bookstore and buying a math book for Math 112 (College Algebra) when there are 19-year-olds selling that book because they took that class last year. Ugh. It's very discouraging. To make matters a little more complicated, now I don't know what I want to go back to school for. I thought I knew, but now I'm not so sure. It's also difficult to be going back to school and need to work at the same time. I get frustrated sometimes (like today) when I realize that I can't just quit my job and focus on school. A lot of my friends got to do that when they were in college, but I can't because now I'm 25 (almost), married and have a lot of bills to pay. I would love to be able to revert back to 19 and just not worry about work, concentrate on school and get this over with.
I also feel a little sad because I feel like I didn't get to experience this part of my life like you "should". Instead of joining lots of groups, going to parties, etc. I really just want it to be over with. I feel a bit guilty that I am wishing it all away. Maybe someday I will regret this, yes?
But I chose to quit school and work for 6 years instead. I gained a lot of really valuable experience working for Cord and I met some of my best friends there. I got to travel! I have been to Las Vegas quite a few times, my friends. I made a pretty good amount of money for my age. I got to be involved in scrapbooking for a living! How cool is that?
But being involved in the scrapbooking industry isn't getting me very far in a city that is crippled by unemployment and a frigid economic climate.
And yet, you know what they say about making your own bed...
...now I have to lie in it.
So what is the morale of the story? Finish. Early. Don't wait. Are you listening, Michelle Mary Maddy? (Oooh, she hates it when I use her whole name like that.)
For the record, Dustin is going to be mad that I am posting about this, because I'm sure he has lots to comment about...but he's sleeping so he can't stop me! Poor Dustin. He tries to be super-supportive, but I'm pretty sensitive about this topic and often we end up arguing over it. We've had very different experiences in the way of education. Basically, he's a rockstar.
Okay, off to bed! It's past my bedtime.
9 comments:
Les, i have given your posting a lot of thought and above everything else, i understand how you feel - in spite of the fact that i did my education in the way that, as you say, one "should."
What i think you are talking about, even more than education, is regret. And without keeping yourself in a bubble of someone else's design (and probably not even then - ESPECIALLY not then), i don't know how you can live a life and come out the other end without some, maybe a lot, of regret.
The trick, i think, is to not regret the regret. Regret, if taken in one light, is defeating and ego-annihilating. Taken in another perspective, it is nothing more than having taken one road instead of another.
i don't know about Michigan, but in Ohio, they're always improving and changing the roads.
there's gotta be a lesson for ALL OF US in that.
now, go study. :)
and, to paraphrase an old, wise, sage whose name i cannot recall off the top of my head, "How old will you be in 2 years if you go back to school?" Answer - 27.
"How old will you be in 2 years if you don't go back to school?" Answer - 27.
:)
Excuse me Miss Leslie! You should not feel discouraged about going back to school!!!
First of all, you look younger than half the college students out there! Second, you should feel proud of what you are doing! Embrace it and work your butt off! You are doing an amazing thing!
There are young women out there that work, go to school AND has children!They somehow make it work and so can you! Plus you are so much better where you are right now!
I love you dearly! Good luck and You Can Do it!
oh! and call me when your classes are done today. I want to know how it went!
Woohoo! I am just excited for you Les, because I know what this means to you. And that's the main thing. It's about YOU and doing what YOU need too do, when YOU need to do it. Now is your time.
Love you!
I think everyone has given you all the advice you want to hear....
I'm just hear to listen if you need me :)
HUGS!
You would you hooker.
I like what Nancy said "it is nothing more than having taken one road instead of another". It's like, some take the freeway, and others take the back roads. It doesn't make one better than another.
I'm a firm believer in things happen for a reason. The road you have chosen has lead you to experience things others may never get a chance to do. Just think, you may never have found Dustin.
I have never been disappointed in the road you have taken.
Michelle Mary Maddy? (Oooh, she hates it when I use her whole name like that.)
it's okay, i do it to.
oh and this whole calling people a hooker thing needs to end, think of a new word.
k? thanks.
love you guys!
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